more not porn— sexuality thoughts?
I haven’t felt compelled to be very active in the/a queer community in quite a while, and I was wondering why that is….
Part of it may be that I am not currently in a remotely queer situation and in fact have not been for (surprisingly) nearly all of the time since I’ve been at Reed (okay, I’ve definitely pined over some ladies/individuals who are not cis males— but very little actual involvement there, while ~2 solid years of dating dudes)— anyway— point is I haven’t really had to confront the like social issues of queerness in a good while
but I think it’s probably more that the reason I was so into being a part of the queer community early on was mainly that my home situation seriously rejected queer identifications of any kind and I needed some sort of support system/validation of my “identity”(?) and now that I’m in a place where identity/sexuality aren’t rejected in that way, I’m sort of okay just being quietly queer (as long as no one’s instigating; I for sure won’t claim that it never happens here, it’s just a lot quieter and less pervasive, and I still occasionally get angry about it—but that’s still much less about community and more about people not being jerks in life)
(Plus I’m getting sort of frustrated with being angry about identity issues, and I feel like a lot of the queer community I’ve been involved with (I obviously can’t speak for other, especially more mature incarnations of queer community) have been primarily defensive and while that is important in some situations (like *I* was super defensive about it in high school and I think that was really important and all) that is not where I’m at with it at this point. That may be an anomaly resulting from being in an unusually accepting place, and maybe it’ll become more important when I’m no longer at Reed/in Portland. IDK.)
I suppose that space has kind of been filled with a mild inclination toward being involved in the (still pretty queer) kink community, but that’s kind of indefinitely on hold for practical reasons and also a community with a very different dynamic, from what I know
Wow this has been way longer than I intended. I will probably edit this for clarity when I am less sleepy. Carry on.